A Funny Thing
by OMFG-Roach
Summary: AU Channy. Chad is just your average hobby shop employee. Until, of course, one day...


A/N: Ok, so here I am with a crazy-pants AU. Think "Chad as a hobby-shop employee" and "Sonny as a very famous teen actress". You know what _that_ means. Chad _is not famous_, which also means _he's not a jerk_ (I mean, come ON Disney! Flesh out your characters so we poor fans don't have to!). Alright, are all of you still with me? Yes?

Then what are we waiting for?! DIG IN!

**DISCLAIMER: **I own nothing but this work and the original names of characters/settings that I have solely created. All copyrights are held by their respective owners.

#~

Chad was having an off day again. His 'Magic' deck needed to be fine-tuned _again_ (damn that pesky 'Path to Exile' to 'Cruel Ultimatum' combo he just couldn't pull off _just_ right), over half of his "40k" 2500 Space Marine army still needed to be painted (goddamn the fact that he was a slow painter), his hair wasn't agreeing with itself (it was a blond _mess_), and Portlyn dumped him last night through a text (actually, that was pretty good news compared to the rest of his problems; besides, he never liked her anyway).

His blue eyes scanned the shelves of "The Emporium", the hobby shop that he worked at. From his view at the counter, the shop was actually pretty darn _big_. The floor plan had the shop measure at around 100 feet by 100 feet (he wasn't too sure that those were the actual measurements, but who really paid attention to those sorts of things anyhow?) with shelves, brimming with merchandise, lining the isles. The store was located in the center of a strip mall in downtown Hollywood, so very expensive cars always roared down the street as they went past. The floor, which spanned the entire store, was a cherry-maple (or was it maple-cherry? He couldn't be bothered to remember nor _care_ for that matter).

And to top it all off, the counter was setup near the door. How very joyous he was as he got to see very pretty Hollywood girls pass him by that lovely piece of Plexiglas that sported the shop's logo, a crown with five jewels surrounding it. Of course, he was on the inside looking out to the world, so the feeling of _knowing_ that he was missing out on life _in bloody Hollywood_ of _all_ places didn't sit well with him. It never did sit well with him.

The door chime went off, breaking his train of thought. In stepped one—no, _two_ of the said beauties, one blonde, the other a brunette. One of them was a regular customer and a long-time friend of his. He smiled a dashing smile.

"What can I get you, Tawni?"

"Well, my friend Sonny here needed to get something for her brother's birthday—you know how we celebrities are, can't really leave without causing too much riff-raff."

"I can imagine." _I really need to get a _real_ girlfriend…hopefully a hot one. Maybe I can ask one of the girls who pass by—_

"Yes, so instead of her going to Wisconsin, which she wants to do, she decided to mail the gift."

"Well, we can't do the shipping—sorry, but we can't. We don't have the cash at the moment. However, we _can_ get the gift—when's the birthday?"

Sonny spoke up before Tawni could even have words escape. "In about three, four months…no, wait. October 15. Yes, that's it."

"Ok, we can have it ready for you about two months prior. Just make your order and we'll call you when it gets here." _Wow, is that a natural eye color for a girl her age? Never knew that brown eyes looked so…much like chocolate. Yeah, they're not really _brown _per se…_

"Are you…ok?" Tawni looked concerned. Her baby blue eyes, which clashed with Chad's own deep sapphire colored ones, tried to pry into his mind, worry slowly etching its way.

"Yeah…just not all there, y'know?" _You_ know _you were checking Sonny out,_ his mind chided him. _She's out of your league—_

"Maybe we should come back later…" Sonny trailed off. "C'mon, Tawni, let's go."

"Don't you want to place your order first?" Tawni asked, trying to give her friend a nudge towards the counter with an elbow.

"Maybe next week," Sonny replied, sighing. "Let's go."

"Fine…see ya, Chad!"

"See ya two. Take care." _There goes another one…Sonny…hang on, wait, have I heard that name before?_

Chad's eyes widened as the door was swung closed. He did not just—

_Oh…crap. _Yes. _Yes I _have.

He did not just talk to _the_ actress Sonny Munroe, Allison Regina 'Sonny' Munroe, daughter of Cornelia Gunter 'Connie' Munroe, who ranked number one on _Playboy's_ hottest actresses in the seventies. Oh, _Jesus_ he did _not_ have Sonny Munroe walk through _the very doors_ of "The Emporium" not a full five minutes ago and tell him that she'd be back _next bloody week_.

Sonny was the spitting image of her mother: Brown hair, mesmerizing chocolate eyes, bell-like voice, nice curves…oh, sweet _God_ his loins were on fire right now. Oh,_ crap_ he was having a hard-on just _thinking_ about her. Oh, sweet _Jesus_. And she was his age! She was _his age_, too! Oh, bloody hell. Oh, _shit_!

A bag, he bloody needed a bloody paper bag to breathe into so he wouldn't bloody pass out. Oh, sweet _God_ on a bloody _stick_!

"OH SWEET JESUS I DID NOT JUST TALK TO SONNY MUNROE!" he shouted to himself, obviously not believing that _just_ happened.

Turns out, _it did_.

_Holy Mary mother of GOD! This…this is…I know Tawni is an actress with a lot of friends…but really—! She's friends with _the _Sonny Munroe!_

_SWEET JESUS!_

Maybe if he asked _really_ nicely, Tawni _could _set him up with Sonny. But, knowing Tawni, she probably would want a few favors done on his end of the deal.

Sighing, he reached into his pocket on a whim and grabbed his cell phone, debating whether to text Tawni or to call her. She just barely left five minutes ago with _the bloody girl of his bloody dreams_ for God's sake! He knew better than to—

Let the girl of his dreams slip away. Dialing Tawni's number, Chad decided that his one shot with such an amazing girl like Sonny wasn't going to come twice.

#~

"Chad? Is that…oh, hi! I was just driving down to the studio with Son—yes, she's with me. Why?" Tawni chatted away into her cell phone, multitasking between driving and talking. Sonny rolled her eyes.

"OH! I get it! Well, just shows you were a little slower than—well, _that_ was rich. Could you excuse me for just a moment? I'm trying to drive—

"What?! You mean you like—CHAD! You _just_ met her!"

Silence rang through the car. Sonny was in the passenger's seat, listening in.

"I bet you didn't know that, either," Tawni chatted away as she pulled into the parking lot of the studio.

"_Weeeeeeeeeeeell, _maybe I can—hang on a second," Tawni glared at Sonny, as if daring her to continue eavesdropping.

"I'm getting out, I'm getting out," Sonny acquiesced, sighing as she unbuckled and opened the car door, getting out.

"Sorry, Sonny was listening in. Anyway, maybe I can pull a few strings for you—what?! Chad Dylan Cooper, you know better than to bite the hand that feeds you! Now, as I was saying, I can _maybe_ pull a few strings for you to get the chance to go out with Sonny. And no, Chad, you owe me only your thanks. Besides, you always pay back your debts. That's why I'm being nice to you now. Anyway, I think that if I talk to you any second longer, the paparazzi will think I have some 'secret lover'. You know how well _that_ went over when you called last time." With that, Tawni snapped her phone shut and got out of her car.

For some odd reason, Tawni felt happy for Chad. After all, she could read his emotions like an open book. She _was_ his friend, after all.

Tawni shuddered. Why, _why_ did she make such a mistake when she set up Chad with that…_skank_ of a girl, Portlyn?! For God's sake, the poor boy was being eaten from the inside out by the girl. Well, Tawni didn't hear it from Chad's mouth, but she knew the boy was over Portlyn. Thank _God_. He looked like he wouldn't last another _hour_, let alone a day.


End file.
